First of all, I should NOT have taken so long without posting. I have thought of doing so several times, but was not able to concentrate and just do it.
Talking to a friend yesterday I realized how much I hate life's uncertainties. Will I live in Rio for the rest of my life or will I move out? If I'm going someplace else, where and WHEN? That matter alone involves many many other doubts such as: should I get a girlfriend (because if I'm not staying, I don't want to get attached to anyone right now), should I settle where I live (I never felt like this is where I am going to live, even after 30 months living in this apartment), will I still work at the boys and girls scout group as a volunteer, should I be learning/practicing another language, am I on the right career path or should I be doing something else?
I wish I could stop worrying so much and just live what's going on right NOW. I could never do that... And that is exactly the peace I always look for. No worries, just feeling right where I stand. I know how good that is because I've felt this in short moments, but there's been quite sometime since I've felt like this. And I need it BAD right now. Peace.
As my mind won't shut the frak up, I could be writting tons of things, regarding an infinity of subjects, but I think I should start with what's going on these days and has been bothering me, making me consider even harder the possibility of being on the wrong career track.
I work as a Consultant and that means working with a team. I've been having trouble with this one co-worker and it's not "just a grudge". Things are getting worse by the day and we've been arguing a LOT. My father said last Saturday "you're a troublemaker, you're getting in too much trouble all the time". Let me just say the author of that phase is definetly not an example of good behaviour.
But that got me thinking... Is it true? Do I seek trouble wherever I go/work? Then I started analyzing every group experience I've had in the past and... I'm usually the one that gets along with EVERYONE. Everybody has their small group of friends, but I usually make friends with all these groups. I've had some extraordinary feedbacks on my teamwork so... Could this thing that's happening now be MY fault?
I admit I'm not the most patient person when it comes to work. If I think something is taking too long, it's not being done objectively, I take ownership and do it myself. Usually people like it. Less work for them. But this girl... She wants to do the whole work, to understand every single detail of the job and that is GOOD! I'd have someone to rely on whenever I got late or had to miss work. But she's... slow. And that makes me impatient. She holds the whole team back and I end up losing my patience and avoiding any direct work with her. That causes her to get pissed off and start yelling at me. YELLING. That's not a behavior to have in the workplace. So I lose patience with her and vice versa. So... we argue.
The project manager knows the girl is giving us all much trouble and making the work harder, but she won't take her off the team. So the question on my mind is... should I ask to change teams? Tricky part: this manager is the person who single handedly can help me move out to Canada and fulfill my year's goals.
Tough decision.
Friendly blogs
2011-01-20
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By:
Márcio.
2011-01-05
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By:
Márcio.
2011 shaping up
Hello, everyone(??)!!
The year began a bit confusing, specially with respect to the apartment issue. I checked lots of ads and visited one apartment last Monday. It was so crappy that made me think and realize I can't afford a bigger apartment and the ones as big as mine are reeeeeeeeally bad and old. Long story short, I can't find any place better and cheaper than the one I current live in. So I called the owner and discussed my contract and we made an agreement: I can stay there for as long as I want (just need to give a 30-day notice whenever I intend to move out) and the rent will be a bit higher (even so, it will still be cheaper than the others I've seen).
Sooooooo, I'm not moving out. But, in order to stand living there, I've decided to make some improvements like fixing door knob, installing air-conditioner, buying some plants, etc. The only problem is... my sister is now pissed off at me because I am not helping her. I reeeally want to, but I don't make enough money to pay all HER bills. Her standards are too damn high and she won't settle for less like I constantly do.
That means... Goal #1 complete in 5 days.
Now I'll focus on the number inside the parenthesis (130). That is the kilograms I need to be weighting by the end of the month. I started the year weighting 140Kg. Yes, that is a lot.
I will make the adjustments on my apartment until Sunday and starting then I'll start cooking and bringing lunch to work so I only eat healthy food and achieve the paralel goal.
Also, I'll try compleating goal #2 still in January. But that's for me to comment on the next post only.
I hope you (??) had a good start in 2011! By the way... If you read the posts, leave a comment!
Bu-bye!
The year began a bit confusing, specially with respect to the apartment issue. I checked lots of ads and visited one apartment last Monday. It was so crappy that made me think and realize I can't afford a bigger apartment and the ones as big as mine are reeeeeeeeally bad and old. Long story short, I can't find any place better and cheaper than the one I current live in. So I called the owner and discussed my contract and we made an agreement: I can stay there for as long as I want (just need to give a 30-day notice whenever I intend to move out) and the rent will be a bit higher (even so, it will still be cheaper than the others I've seen).
Sooooooo, I'm not moving out. But, in order to stand living there, I've decided to make some improvements like fixing door knob, installing air-conditioner, buying some plants, etc. The only problem is... my sister is now pissed off at me because I am not helping her. I reeeally want to, but I don't make enough money to pay all HER bills. Her standards are too damn high and she won't settle for less like I constantly do.
That means... Goal #1 complete in 5 days.
Now I'll focus on the number inside the parenthesis (130). That is the kilograms I need to be weighting by the end of the month. I started the year weighting 140Kg. Yes, that is a lot.
I will make the adjustments on my apartment until Sunday and starting then I'll start cooking and bringing lunch to work so I only eat healthy food and achieve the paralel goal.
Also, I'll try compleating goal #2 still in January. But that's for me to comment on the next post only.
I hope you (??) had a good start in 2011! By the way... If you read the posts, leave a comment!
Bu-bye!
2010-12-30
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By:
Márcio.
Goal number One
Hi again! I didn't think I'd write again so soon, but here I am. First I have to explain the number One goal for 2011. Twenty-nine months ago I signed a rental contract of 30 months for this studio in Rio and moved out of my family's house to live by myself. That was a big step and a great and necessary experience.
I grew A LOT by living all alone, having to solve problems, learn how to take care of myself, understand what it is taking care of an apartment, paying bills, having people over, having the peace I always wanted but at the same time having nobody to talk to at the end of the day.
Now it has come the time to make another decision... I have to give the keys back to the owner by the end of January, but I still don't have a new place to move into. As the World Cup and Olympic Games will be held in Rio (2014 & 2016), the real estate prices have gone waaaaaay too high. The rent doubled, but my paycheck remains the same. So that leaves me with two options: go back to my grandfather's apartment or rent a 2-bedroom one with my sister.
In the first scenario I go back to the hellhole where I lived for 5 years. Not healthy. At all.
On the other hand, renting a place with my syster would only be half a hell, but most importantly, I would be able to help her. I always did everything I could to become independent, to learn how to live my own life. My sister though is one year older than me and doesn't have the guts to throw herself at the big bad world we live in. And I don't think she'll ever do that, ever grow up, unless someone pushes the not-so-young-baby-bird off the nest. If the mother won't do it, maybe it's time I play the big bro and start pushing.
I am off to my gramps place now (where my sis lives nowadays) and will talk to her and my mother about this. Let's see how it goes.
I grew A LOT by living all alone, having to solve problems, learn how to take care of myself, understand what it is taking care of an apartment, paying bills, having people over, having the peace I always wanted but at the same time having nobody to talk to at the end of the day.
Now it has come the time to make another decision... I have to give the keys back to the owner by the end of January, but I still don't have a new place to move into. As the World Cup and Olympic Games will be held in Rio (2014 & 2016), the real estate prices have gone waaaaaay too high. The rent doubled, but my paycheck remains the same. So that leaves me with two options: go back to my grandfather's apartment or rent a 2-bedroom one with my sister.
In the first scenario I go back to the hellhole where I lived for 5 years. Not healthy. At all.
On the other hand, renting a place with my syster would only be half a hell, but most importantly, I would be able to help her. I always did everything I could to become independent, to learn how to live my own life. My sister though is one year older than me and doesn't have the guts to throw herself at the big bad world we live in. And I don't think she'll ever do that, ever grow up, unless someone pushes the not-so-young-baby-bird off the nest. If the mother won't do it, maybe it's time I play the big bro and start pushing.
I am off to my gramps place now (where my sis lives nowadays) and will talk to her and my mother about this. Let's see how it goes.
2010-12-29
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By:
Márcio.
Getting started
Hello there! My name is Márcio, I am 25 years old and have no idea why the hell I'm starting this blog!! Actually, I might have SOME idea... I usually like writting when I get too thoughtful, when I can't sort things out and need to think more clearly.
Well, to begin with, I don't know who will read this (or IF anyone will), so I think I won't say much about me at first. Get to know me with time.
This year is almost finished and when this happens I have the habit of making a list of 10 things I would like doing on the following year (2011, that is). So let's begin with this: small list that will unveil what I wish for 2011. What better way is there to know me than to know what my priorities are? But this time I'll try something different. Twelve goals, one for each month of this upcoming year.
1) Find a place to live. (130)
2) Renew passport and get international driver's license. (125)
3) Be hired by [Company name] in Canada. (120)
4) Move out to Canada. (115)
5) Get a car. (110)
6) Find a new way of helping. (105)
7) Have visited 10 different cities. (100)
8) Meet Tiff. (95)
9) Write recipe book. (90)
10) Get a cat. (87)
11) Watch a basketball game in MSG. (87)
12) Give mother a plane ticket as b-day gift. (87)
Each item will be followed by a detailed post.
That's it... For now! See you (??) soon!
Well, to begin with, I don't know who will read this (or IF anyone will), so I think I won't say much about me at first. Get to know me with time.
This year is almost finished and when this happens I have the habit of making a list of 10 things I would like doing on the following year (2011, that is). So let's begin with this: small list that will unveil what I wish for 2011. What better way is there to know me than to know what my priorities are? But this time I'll try something different. Twelve goals, one for each month of this upcoming year.
1) Find a place to live. (130)
2) Renew passport and get international driver's license. (125)
3) Be hired by [Company name] in Canada. (120)
4) Move out to Canada. (115)
5) Get a car. (110)
6) Find a new way of helping. (105)
7) Have visited 10 different cities. (100)
8) Meet Tiff. (95)
9) Write recipe book. (90)
10) Get a cat. (87)
11) Watch a basketball game in MSG. (87)
12) Give mother a plane ticket as b-day gift. (87)
Each item will be followed by a detailed post.
That's it... For now! See you (??) soon!
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